Vacant.

Hello Stranger,

It’s me again. A bunch of things has happened since we last talked. So first of all, my little picnic potluck for Labor day turned out to be a success. People enjoyed it, and there were a lot of food. It was pretty fun. We stayed for a couple of hours talking to everyone. Most of my cohorts who stayed in town came out to the little gathering. I was quite satisfied and impressed that everything panned out well. After that, we had to focus on the math heavy homework. It is quite difficult since my classmates and I have met for two days straight and only have managed to hatch an idea on how to solve problem #1. And now, classes have started after Labor day, and we are swamped with readings and homework. For some reason, I feel as though I am perpetually behind. It’s pretty crazy, if you ask me. But then, one of our professors is treating us out for drinks on Friday. That should be fun. I think this Friday is the official start of the VFI: “we drink ’til we can’t drink no more.” I am already planning on taking the bus to class and just taking a cab back home. It will be fun, I think. Although, I feel like only a couple of my classmates would be down to drinking hardcore. We shall see. I am pretty excited on how this Friday turns out.

On another note, my Dad just left today. I’m pretty sad that he left because for some reason, my apartment feels a little empty. But then again, I was pretty anxious for him to leave. I guess it’s more of a heat of the moment thing where I look back and think how much good he has done for and how little I did. Somehow, I always think that I lack a lot of characteristics that would make the people that I love happy. I guess I am not really a master of how to make people happy. In fact, I don’t even know if I make my boyfriend happy. I mean, he never told me that. I know, it’s pretty sad. I don’t think someone has ever told me that I made them happy. This reminds me of my current vacancy in the “best friend” department. Yes, it’s pretty sad, but the one person that I truly considered my best friend has now moved on. We’ve been really good friends, or at least that’s what I think. But then, in retrospect, I was being such a horrible friend. I was the one who was talking for most of the time; I never really did listen. I am just this stubborn person, and yet my friend would always be there through all the good and bad times. But then, how we left things off was another story. I completely blame myself for all of it. I did such horrible things that I seriously think I deserve this. Well, I guess in other words, I don’t deserve that kind of friendship from my friend. Now, I think we would just consider ourselves “acquaintances.” So, I guess this is how it feels to lose a friend. It absolutely sucks. I just wish I ended things differently. But now, I really do think my friend is happier without me. I think it is for the best. I learned things the hard way, while my friend is so much better off. I know, this is a sad realization of things.

Anyway, I just had to release that. I am beginning to think that I am typing away my therapy in order to cope up with that “vacancy” I mentioned a while ago. I’m sorry for the whole sad entry, Stranger. I’ll to be a little bit more upbeat next time. Who knows, I might just enter a “tipsy/drunk” blog for you.

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