Indisposed.

What does it mean to be successful?
Fame? Fortune?

Honestly, I really think that it is a state of mind. Being successful is nothing but a perspective. Of course, there’s this connotation of being successful. People who have attained this feeling of success commonly say that it is when you have reached your dreams. It is the point where you are truly happy. So can I say that being successful means being happy? I guess so.

If that’s the case, why can’t you be proud of me? I know, I haven’t been up to my standards recently. I just have become more honest with myself, that’s all. I have chosen to take a different path. Something I am fighting for. Something I am absolutely scared about. Something that will make or break the rest of my life. But right now, all I can feel is the infinite amount of pressure whenever we talk. You might be unaware of this. I guess this is self-imposed since I feel that I have failed you in so many ways. Like, I haven’t really brought you anything to be proud of. I didn’t really reach the dream you wanted for me. I have settled for something completely different. I have taken the route that I think would bring me the most happiness. I guess for the most of my life, I already had an idea of what I wanted to be. I was just scared that what I want might actually turn out into a complete utter disaster. Then, at the end of the day, you’d just abandon me and tell me that “I told you so” speech. But, being independent has made me realize that I have to go through with this. I have to be completely honest with myself and follow my dreams. Follow everything I believe in. No matter how hard it is for me to face you, I think that everything will be for the better.

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