Random Blitz.

It’s funny how I’m spending almost 2 weeks with my family, and yet, I still feel very distant from them – like I don’t fit in somehow. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m always away busy that now that I have time for them, they all have things to do on their own. It’s somewhat sad. I don’t think this is the only time this has happened. I’ve had similar instances with friends. Maybe that’s why I’ve never really been able to keep a close constant connection with anyone (not until now, I suppose). I mean, I’m always busy, always on the go doing something. I rarely have any down time to spend with people I love. And, now that I do, I feel like they’re not taking as much advantage of it or something. I feel like they’re so used to me being busy and gone that they’ve basically built up this little wall that keeps me outside. Either that or I’m just feeling rather tired and left out from all the things they’re doing. Maybe it’s not them who’s building the wall. Maybe it was me after all. Yes, it’s all my fault. I let people get away from me. I let them drift and move on like I never existed. It’s really hard for me to keep constant communication with people, especially those who I don’t see or those who don’t give much effort. I don’t know. There are a lot of perspectives going on in this dilemma. I guess, I’m just expressing how much I have missed out from life because of my ridiculously busy schedule.

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