Disappointed. That’s what I am right now. For God’s sake, I already turned 21. The oldest drinking age possible. But no, I have to babysit. Yes, babysit for friendship’s sake. For camaraderie’s sake. What am I? A fucking babysitter. I know, I know. I have to be understanding. Saying things like that makes me sound very selfish. But, I only get this one night. Yes, just this one night where I actually feel like going out and having some fun. I was getting warmed up at being social already. Yes, my social skills have been lacking recently. I need this. I needed tonight. But no, I’m here in my room, typing bullshit as the night dwindles away into complete nothingness. I am just so appalled right now. I can’t even begin to explain how frustrated I am. I know, I sound childish and selfish. But, screw you. I needed this night. My only chance of freedom. Well, at least, not for a very long time. I needed to have fun with intoxication. Being little-miss-goody-two-shoes is killing me. Being productive, responsible, and most positive qualities of a student. Yes, those things are slowly killing me right now. I need an escape. I need to go out and let loose. Live a little, just as what I would tell people. Now, I feel like I’m apprehended my my newly found dedication and commitment to everything important in life. I’m limited. I have found myself locking myself inside yet another prison. This is not good. But, at least, I have this place of where I let all insanity let loose. I guess this could work for tonight. But seriously, the next night I need to go out. I will go out. All out. No holding back. I. Will. Have. Fun.

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