Frozen. That’s what I feel right now. The feeling I experience every time my toes are touching the edge of a cliff. It’s both breathtaking and nerve-racking at the same time. I can see the picturesque panoramic view and the jagged rocks down below. It’s like when you feel that sudden surge of thoughts and emotions running through your veins. At first, you get this elevated feeling as if you’re in some sort of ecstasy pill. You’re drenched in awe with all the things you see around you. The beauty of the landscape that soothes your eyes. You feel invincible. You feel like you’re on top of the world. Nothing can seem to stop you. But afterwards, when you look straight down from that cliff, you experience this downward spiral caused by waves of uncertainty. You feel powerless. You’re hands automatically hide behind your back as if destiny is tying them up for you. You suddenly realize that one more step could lead to untimely demise. This is where anxiety takes the lead.
I’m frozen, I tell you. If you were in that situation, wouldn’t you feel incapacitated? Unable to move? Rendered helpless by the riddles of life?
With a glass of red wine in one hand, I’m contemplating if it’s worth the risk to jump right now.