I am feeling quite creative right now. I think it’s due to the combined effort of caffeine and carbohydrates inside me. For some reason, I feel the need to express myself. Practicing math couldn’t quite cut it. I need to type. I need something constant. Something subconscious.
Now, what do I talk about? I can’t possibly talk about him again. It’s too much. So what else is there?
My focus is running on a thin wire. I feel the need to everything at the same time. I want to read. Run. Write. Jog. Study. Walk. Eat. Sleep. I am feeling motivated and lazy at the same time. What is wrong with me? This is horrible. I need to learn how to focus.
At the same time, I need to strengthen my mental capacity. I seriously feel like I’m getting lazier and more idiotic by the minute. This cannot be. Is this part of growing up? I cannot let this happen. I must resist the temptation to idle around. I need to be productive. I need to be successful. Self-sufficient and independent. I need to make the most out of life. And, how do we measure life? The most popular answer would be to count the number of successes a person has. But then, how do you measure and define success? I’m guessing it depends on every person. For me, it’s how many lives I’ve inspired and touched. It’s how many friends I trust. It’s how I affect people. This is my definition of success. Now, the next question is how do I reach my success? That’s the good question. Something I’ll try to answer next time since my focus is slowly fading away. And, I see no structure in this entry. This is basically a surge of my thoughts put into writing.
I still feel the need to talk. Or to express myself. But, I have to stop this right now or else I feel like this would end into a full-length novel. On the other hand, it doesn’t really matter since no one reads my blog anyway. This is the perfect secret diary I have. I can document all my thoughts and rants into an intangible space in this cyberworld. My invisible, non-existent time capsule.