True. I’m intoxicated right now. Thank you, long island ice tea.
Right now, I can’t help but miss you so much.
Walking down the streets by myself makes me miss you so much more. It makes me realize how much I actually depended on you. I kept wishing you were right beside me. Not necessarily holding my hand, but just keeping me company. Or in my case, protecting me from unwanted people. Going to bars, acting like a single person, makes me want you more. There were a couple of guys who tried to hit on me. Try as they might but to no avail. I would never give in. Mostly because I felt that you never deserve that. At least, not now. We haven’t established a peaceful end to our so-called relationship. Yes, the point that I miss you is taken into consideration. Maybe you felt that I never appreciated you as much. But, I never felt the need to reciprocate this feeling since I rarely felt special with you. Even so, I wanted to be with you. For some odd reason, I wanted to be around you. I wanted to spend as much time with you even if that means I would get disappointed and frustrated most of the time. You have no idea how much crap I have thought about you. But still, I wanted you. No one. But you. Maybe it’s time for me to move on. Your departure could be my cue to move on. Not necessarily move on with a different guy. But, move on with my life. Be as independent as I can be. As much as I want to depend on you, I can’t. I feel that I’m just going to be disappointed at the end. I don’t expect anything from you. Nothing at all. But, I am hoping that you would fight for me. Work hard for me. That’s the only thing I want from you. To make me feel that you’re sincere and genuine that you want no one else but me. This might sound like I’m becoming a hopeless romantic. But please take into consideration that I am intoxicated. This could be what I really want. This could be all made up. Who knows. All I know is that I miss you. And, I really want you back.
I still can’t sleep on your side of the bed. Mostly, it’s because I keep having nightmares whenever I’m in that side. Maybe I’d move on someday. So will you. But deep down inside, I’m hoping that I am the person you’d fight for. I’m only hoping though.