Open Your Eyes.

A couple of nights ago I had yet another dream about Viktor – let’s call him that. I rarely dream about him anymore. I’m guessing it’s just mental relapses being translated into dreams.

Anyway, the dream starts off with me arriving at the Paris International Airport – Paris Charles De Gaulle Airport. I’ve never been there in real life, so in my dream, it was my first time there. Then, I see Viktor. We hug. We kissed each other on the cheeks. Nothing too unusual. We talked and talked, trying to catch up with all that has been forgotten. Finally, we reached his apartment. It wasn’t like the one I saw on skype. It was fairly similar, but not quite. His landlady was quite old. She had thick glasses on. She came off pretty strong and aggressive, but as the dream progressed, I ended up on her good side. She would cook for me. Invite me over for company. This made my stay in Viktor’s apartment fairly decent. Then, I met his roommate, Boris. It was odd seeing him since I think I have seen a photo of him on facebook or something. For some reason, he didn’t quite matched what I assumed he would look like. But, Boris did have that curly hair. I just imagined his hair to be darker though.

I pretty much hung out with Viktor for the rest of my stay in Paris. We had fun. We caught up pretty well. But just as songs end, my trip there was coming to a close. I remember this scene where we came from an afternoon walk around town. I collapsed on the couch as soon as we got back. Boris was looking at me from my feet. Viktor was beside me. I told them to go and let me be. I needed some rest at that time. The landlady even offered me food, which I gladly accepted. We all ate dinner that night. At that moment, I had the impression that I only had a couple of days left ’til I left. Those couple of days went by like a blink of an eye. It was gone. My trip in Paris ended.

My mom came over to the city to pick me up. Consequently, she met Viktor. We talked. They chatted. It was nice. After a few hours, my mom and I left for another town to visit. We talked about my trip, which eventually became a topic about Viktor. At that time, I was telling my mom how he should come to the U.S. to rekindle (or maintain) our relationship. I was telling her how he’s supposed to follow me wherever I go. Wherever my career takes me. I also tried to convince her that I don’t have money to visit him all the time. Then, she tells me that she likes Viktor for me. She thinks that he is such a great guy. But, she also told me that I shouldn’t make him follow me. I should be the one to go to him. As for the money problem, she told me that she has confidence that Viktor has enough money to donate for my plane ticket.

A few more forgettable scenes. I wake up. Feeling bewildered about what just happened, I do my daily routine. The feeling of maybe the dream meant something made me think. I must admit that it did stress me out for a little bit. I see my dream as a place where my mother advised me on what to do. Maybe it’s the subconscious or reason talking in my dream, but it does make sense. For some reason, this dream gave me a little ounce of hope about Viktor. It wasn’t really a big boost. But it kept the flame on the other side of the mountain alive.

However, thinking realistically, I might not be able to see Viktor. I might find someone else. No matter how much I still think that he is my ideal perfect guy, I have to face the probabilities of him still liking me is diminishing at a constant rate. Soon enough, he might actually forget about me. Such a shame. I must face reality and be pragmatic about all things. Keeping this in my mind, I don’t think I would ever forget about him. I would say that he created a colossal positive impact in my life. I am grateful for that.

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